Recently, another academic asked: how do you do it? How can you raise a kid? And be so productive?
I paused. The question was genuine.
I replied: I don’t have a choice, this is how I support my kid. There is no backstop.
Now, I know my response was a bit dramatic.
But there is an essential truth that many faculty, male or female, who do not raise children alone, don’t understand. Single parents have fewer choices & smaller margins for error. We have to perform.
We don’t have the same kind of backstop as others so the stakes of the game are higher & our degrees of freedom over how we manage time are fewer.
What do I mean?
Single parents are time constrained.
Each paper submission is more important because we don’t have the same flexibility or amount of time available to work on research as other faculty.
As a result, we often feel the pain of rejection more acutely. For the untenured, it can evoke panic. For the tenured, it can compound fatigue from raising a kid 24/7.
Also, we don’t have degrees of freedom to take on many new course preps or service roles - not without really thinking about it.
What do I mean by time constrained?
Our schedules and time are most often consumed by our child’s schedule.
School drop-off, pick-up, meals, and must occur at set times - these things are not negotiable.
I recognize that all #caregivers have constraints - but it is different when you are the only one.
We have to be better time managers.
So what do we do?
We find ways to make time or participate in teams that make us more efficient.
For many years, I woke up early to write, stayed up late to write, and wrote during TV time with my kid by my side.
Along the way, I joined or built #teams that let me leverage my competencies as a writer and in research design.
How has it played out?
I’ve been able to #publish well.
I’ve been able to do so bc I have patient co-authors & editors.
I’m slower at turning papers around than I once was - resulting in longer revision cycles & missed opportunities.
It has also meant that I’ve never written that #soloauthoredpaper required to call someone a #greatscholar.
In fact, I have heard that criticism explicitly mentioned - which, while fair - isn’t one that I am well-equipped to address until my daughter goes to college.
What has it meant for my life?
I have had to focus on two things - my family & my work.
I have a partner who understands my priorities bc she is a #singleparent & works in an adjacent space.
But beyond that, the years of single academic parent life have meant giving up some hobbies (I miss books), a few non-work related holidays (just two), & a streamlined personal life to sustain the professional.
If you see a #singleacademicparent, know that our lives differ from many academics, but also know, that none of us have regrets - we are grateful that we are able to support our children.
