10 positives about being a single parent in academe.

A friend commented that I bellyache a bit about being a single parent.

I replied, it’s not bellyaching, it’s explaining & it’s not mansplaining, it’s explaining that not all our lives are the same.

They asked then, what is great about being a single parent and professor?

I choked on my diet coke.

I realized thst they were right - I don’t talk enough about what is great about being a single parent in academe - other than the birthday post.

So 10 positives for single academic parents.

First, flexibility.

Absent being in class, I can flex just about everything to accommodate my kid’s schedule.

Pick up, drop off, doctors and dentists - no problem.

Second, field trips & book fairs,

I went on every single one - that the kid let me attend.

Third, bring my kid to work.

My kid has gone to class, meetings, conferences & more.

No one said much - not sure I could do thst in industry.

Fourth, academic aunties.

My kid has aunties on every continent. They take her shopping, dispense sage advice, & check up on the Teen.

Fifth, academic uncles.

My kid has German uncles, who taught her to use chopsticks, unmentionable words, and took her to jump on trampolines.

She loves her aunties & uncles.

Sixth, aspirations.

My kid knows education makes anything possible - her dad paid for two years of college scrubbing toilets & later earned a PhD - she knows if she earns a degree - anything is possible in academe.

Seventh, education.

My kid knows that reading, writing, and math are fundamental to life success - she sees me use this skills everyday - she doesn’t question their value.

Eighth, global.

My kid has tagged along across Europe & China. She has a perspective that few 18 year olds share.

We have seen the world together

Ninth, vacation.

I spend holidays with the kid - no question asked.

I have never scrambled for childcare on holidays.

Finally, resources.

This career has provided the resources - financial and emotional - to raise her.

I am grateful.

So don’t infer I think academe is hostile to single parents - it’s hard - esp. for the #untenured - but there is an awful lot good as well.

It’s just that some folks need to be educated, thst life is not the same for all of us.

And I’m in a position where I can stand up & speak for the #singleparents in #academe.

I hope people in power will listen!

Let’s build a better academe!

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