On academic gossip (or it's up to you to decide what you hear and share with others).
On a recent call, a remote acquaintance breathlessly told me a rumor:
"XYZ is gay!"
I paused. I had known that faculty member for years. It had never come up in conversation. It was irrelevant to our relationship.
I was curious though.
"Oh, how do you know?"
The caller replied:
"XYZ, the former department chair, told people before they left."
I could not think of more counterproductive way to exit a place, than to out a colleague.
I asked:
"Aren't they friends?"
The caller didn't have a good answer.
I've reflected on this conversation - much longer than I usually do - before doing a post - because the topic of gossip is a hard one to write about.
Why? Because I'm as guilty of gossip as the next person.
Over time, I've come to know three truths.
(1) we all gossip
(2) gossip offers useful information
(3) some things should not be gossiped about.
So, what do we gossip about? And what should be expected?
We talk about behavior at work, at conferences, & in peer review - so & so knows so & so so their paper was accepted.
If you say or do something in a professional context, it's fair game.
Why do we gossip? Is there a purpose?
We gossip bc we are gathering social information. It makes us feel better about ourselves (when positive: https://lnkd.in/e3Xypvka) & helps us enforce rules for conduct (https://lnkd.in/e76UKb4D).
In a very real way, we gossip to gather data in order to predict the behavior of friends, collaborators & editors or to help navigate social situations.
When does gossip go too far?
When it goes beyond professional data & into personal lives, health, or value systems.
It's not your place to broadcast & amplify a colleague's health issue or sexual orientation. It's your colleague's choice to disclose who, how, & the way they feel or live.
So what to do? To stop gossip from going too far?
First, shut the door on queries about sensitive topics.
I recently received a query about a person's health. I replied no comment. I do the same for many topics.
Second, listen.
Don't immediately brush off a friend's negative comment. Let the person get it off their chest.
But, Let that be the end of it. There is no need to amplify or share the comment.
Third, open the door to positives.
If someone leads with a negative, redirect the conversation to a positive of that person or pivot to a different topic.
Positive gossip is better for your mental health.
Fourth, be aware of what you say.
Conferences have more ears than voices. If you have something controversial to say (& I often do), be aware it will be talked about.
Finally, be aware of your role.
When you go admin, you stop being a colleague - you become a boss - gossip about colleagues must stop.
A final thought, gossip is part of academic life. It's not what you hear that matters. It's what you choose to relay & how you relay it that matters.
Best of luck!
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