On friendships in your Ph.D. program (or you never know who will become your academic family).
In 1998, I transferred into the #PhDprogram in the College of Business at Florida State University.
I had no idea that the people that I met that year & the next would become lifelong friends.
Where my first PhD program was populated with part-time, often self-funded students, the Business program was dedicated to full-time, fully-funded students.
It was a completely different world.
The Business #PhDstudents had an unfamiliar esprit de corps & a sense of competitiveness. Most had given up industry careers to pursue degrees. They were hyper-focused on learning what was necessary to succeed in their careers.
It was differed from my first PhD program - which was lower pressure & easier going - albeit just as rigorous.
By the start of the 2nd semester, the first-year students in my track of the PhD program left for industry - the dot.com boom was peaking & money was good.
So, my friend group went from being comprised of one discipline to integrating a small group of students from related business disciplines.
I recall, at the time, thinking, that these were my friends for now - knowing that I had to leave for a new school in a few years - & treating the relationships as if they were ephemeral.
Fast forward 20 years. My out-of-discipline friends remain trusted academic confidants & have only grown closer as the years passed.
From these relationships, I learned seven important lessons, relevant to success in academic life.
(1) you can't navigate a PhD program alone.
Everyone needs friends who you can trust & confide in.
(2) every PhD student is smart in a different way.
Some could write, some could run numbers, some were socially apt.
(3) every PhD student defines success in their own way.
Some wanted research jobs & others wanted to teach.
I learned to respect all paths.
(4) every PhD student must let go of arguments.
The stakes of the game only feel high bc you are living in an academic pressure cooker.
Once out of that pressure cooker, 20 years later, old arguments become funny stories.
(5) every PhD student struggles to finish.
By the end of your journey, you are sick of your dissertation.
I know no one who didn't get discouraged the final year. See point (1) for a coping strategy.
(6) every PhD student eventually asks for help.
You either learn humility or you fail.
(7) the PhD students around you become your #academic family.
Like bio families, you don't get to pick your academic siblings. You will bicker with each other & pick at each other's flaws.
None of that matters.
20 years later they are still your academic siblings.
If you let yourself, you can forge close relationships with colleagues in your program or adjacent ones.
#PhDprograms don't have to be lonely journeys. Take some time to make a few friends. The journey is a lot more fun if you have someone to talk to.
Best of luck.
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