This article is worth reading for young academics.
We often see it in faculty meetings, where older or more experienced faculty undercut or delegitimate younger or less experienced faculty views. If you know what you are dealing with in a meaningful way, it’s easier to address & cope with the stress of not being heard.
This article is worth reading for older or more experienced academics.
We often see them in faculty meetings, delegitimating the views of younger colleagues & colleagues who do not share their experience & may not know it. Take some time to give it a read, ask, is this me? You might not like how you respond.
I've been in both roles.
I've been discounted & diminished for various reasons - when I was young, I was told that I just didn't know; when I moved, I was told that was not how it was done around here; when I've disagreed, I've been told that my relevant experiences didn't matter; in one memorable moment, I was told that I hadn't worked at a good school, so I didn't understand; in another, I was told I was fat & come back after I worked out. The list is long. In no circumstance was it ok!
Whether young, early-career, or late-career, gaslighting sucks. It takes the air out of you & undermines your confidence.
I've also discounted or diminished others, without thought, until I became a single parent, I didn't get the challenges many young females or caregiving faculty experience; until I moved, I didn't know how hard it is not to be heard as an experience faculty member; until I was aware of my privilege, I didn't know the challenges of faculty at less-privileged schools; until I was fat, I didn't realize the casual cruelty of youth-focused, fitness-focused academe. I have no excuses. I am sorry that I didn't understand.
As I enter the later stages of my career, I've learned the power of my words, particularly dismissive ones, & the harm they cause.
I have regrets for accepting and delivering gaslighting.
So what to do? If you are a victim of gaslighting?
The article has great tips - be self-aware, note when you feel manipulated, note who makes you anxious, talk to a trusted colleague or professional, and most of all - trust yourself - you are a faculty member for a reason - you know things!
So what to do? If you realize that you have a problem? & gaslight colleagues?
First, listen. You don't have to agree. Just listen.
Second, explain. If your opinion differs, let them know why. It does not need to be a long explanation. Your colleagues will appreciate it.
Third, monitor. If you notice colleagues avoid you, maybe the problem is you. Introspect and ask why. It's not fun. I know. It was necessary.
Fourth, accept losing. You may know things, but you don't know everything. Let others win.
Finally, change. Recruit a friend & permit them to call BS. You will change with enough feedback.
Old dogs can learn new tricks. I did.
Let's build a better academy together!
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