I've taken substantial time to reflect on what I want the last stage of my career to look like over the past 16 months.
In part, my reflection has been a function of mid-life - entering my 50s has been a time of joy & angst - as I've taken stock of what I have done well & what I have not done well.
In part, my reflection has been a function of the academic lifecycle - watching many of my mentors retire or slow down - has caused me to take stock of what I want I am & what I want to be.
In part, my reflection has been a function of changing responsibilities - joining a new uni thrust me into local service & pushed me away from field-based service - causing me to ask where should I focus my attention?
While I have not yet found an answer, & will continue to stare into my belly, I have found thinking about three questions have helped me think & plan my academic life.
First, I've asked myself what brings me joy?
I've carefully evaluated the roles & relationships that I've played in academia.
I've asked did I find joy in the work itself? Or did I do the work to reach a specific end-state?
I've recognized that I am much happier when I take joy in the process.
This has resulted in my streamlining what I do.
I've dropped numerous personal & professional engagements.
I am creating time to think.
Second, how do I want to spend my time?
I've asked what the least pleasant, most time-consuming parts of my day were?
I've recognized it is not the thought work or time invested in working with young colleagues.
It's the pressure of constant communication.
The time spent on calls, sending emails, or recovering from interruptions.
This has resulted in my communicating less & more slowly.
Surprisingly, this has not resulted in my feeling less connected.
It has made the conversations feel more meaningful.
Three, whom do I want to serve?
I've asked what is my audience? Where can I have the most impact?
Early in my career, I worked hard to earn the respect of senior scholars.
Success meant being acknowledged as good by a short list of people.
This requires playing the "game" of publication, editorial roles, & so on.
Today, I find those people & their metrics of success matter much less to me.
Today, I find a long list of early career scholars are far more important to me than publishing a paper or earning the title of EIC
Why?
Because I find that time invested in mentoring has a far greater positive impact on my community than time invested in playing the academic Game of Thrones.
So while my introspection will continue, mid-life seems to be the time for it; focusing on what brings me joy, where I invest my time, & whom I want to speak to has brought far greater clarity to my academic life.
Now, my days are filled with rewarding conversations, working with early career scholars, & joy.
I wish I had asked them sooner!
댓글