Every year, I miss cherry blossoms, tulips, & spring blooms.
I usually have a good excuse - away on spring break, giving a talk somewhere, or having a paper deadline!
As the flowers wilt, I tell myself there is always next year.
This year, I ran out of excuses - my teen is one year away from college, my teen nephew & niece are visiting, & work deadlines just don't feel compelling.
So this afternoon, I packed the three teens in the car & drove off to Longwood Gardens to see the flowers.
While driving, I caught myself thinking about ambitious students, a grumpy coauthor, & an upcoming conversation with my Dean.
I wondered, was taking a weekday afternoon off the right thing?
Even though I had worked all weekend to clear time for the visiting teens, there was work to be done.
Was I letting people that depended on me down?
When we pulled up to the garden, & I saw my kid interact with cousins, after a long spell apart, I was drawn to the present.
My apprehension waned.
As we walked & talked & I spent time with my daughter, nephew & niece, I stopped thinking about work, embraced the moment, & enjoyed being with the teens.
My curiosity was piqued.
As they sniffed flowers, spotted squirrels, & ogled geese, the teens felt young, but you could see signs of the adults to come. I appreciated that they still could enjoy the moment.
My appreciation waxed.
As we walked, the teens expressed unexpected sophistication. Primed by walking on DuPont's land, they opined on social justice, corporate responsibility, & how the world should be.
My heart filled.
These kids are ok. I look forward to teaching their generation. It's just two years away. Where did the time go?
I felt regret
I thought about the many Springs in my office, missing the season, & moments like these. Then we found the blue poppy, none of us had ever seen one, & we all loved them.
I felt elated.
The regret slipped away. I was here now. And it was perfect.
So, while I'll still work (a lot) in the future, I do have obligations to fulfill (right?), I will make time as the seasons change for walks & conversations & people that matter.
At 50, I know that these moments can't wait. The time for them is now. I lost that understanding in my 30s and 40s.
Yet, I refuse to hang on to regret.
My experiences, good & bad, made me able to appreciate the present. And I know that I'm lucky that I can look forward. Many people don't get that chance.
I am optimistic.
I look forward to the Summer to come.
So why the long post?
My hope for all of you, be you academic or not, is that you take time this Spring to stop & smell the flowers.
Take someone you like out for a walk & a conversation.
Find your blue poppy.
You won't regret it.
#teaching#mentor#worklifebalance#springblooms#lifeworkbalance#springflowers#phd#longwood#academiclife#mentoring
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